"Canada Warship Seizes Tanker in Arabian Sea" -- Reuters, Feb. 8, 2002

CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN... WAIT...
CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?
Oh Right, and Switzerland Has Nuclear Weapons

Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.

"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war?

"Does Canada know?" he added.

"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We saw this frigate steaming toward us, and we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'"

When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver announced that the tanker was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship was confused, said Omari, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadians sailors were carrying.

"They were armed. With guns," said Omari. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?"

"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn warship."


According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said, because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions, which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and medicine.

The U.N. said the incident is already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been watching too many American television shows.

:p :p :p

Yes, we have a warship. And it could kick the crap out of any Spanish cod trawler.

Those silly Canadians, eh?

Canada planning to develop nucleur weapon this winter, to blow up the world.
That is as likely as Americans getting some sense.

*just kidding* ;)

LMAOOOOO!

that's what I was thinking when I read the title... "Canada has a warship?" :angel:

You Go Canada.

I always knew you had it in you.

Well, ok, calling it a `warship' is a bit, uh, optimistic. It's actually just a frigate.

damn, it must be the ship that was in the Ontario Place :sad:

what happened to the thread about the Axis of Evil? :confused:

I deleted it.
I'll post it again, if enough people pester me of course (AND if people promise not to post angry faces).

The sad truth is that it actually IS only a frigate.

Originally posted by Fingon
damn, it must be the ship that was in the Ontario Place :sad:


Oh no! Not the Ontario Place Ship :sad:

Next they'll be bombing Chadguayan ships :sad: Note: sad not mad

I guess we better not mention that the Ontario Place ship has cement in its gun barrels. :eek:

Oh they're going to fire cement? Those bastards. :sad:

Not cement :o

Yeah, Canada. Don't waste cement. Birmingham needs it.

Have we been taking lessons from Daddy or what? :p

No, Hurley, the cement long ago hardened. In other words, while the Ontario Place ship --- which is a real if rather antique warship --- actually does have guns, it is kinda impossible to fire anything from them.

Canada doesn't have a warship, they have a boat lol

Hard cement :sad:

And to think I thought they were just going to fire the mix :sad:

What is the world coming to?? Won't someone please think of the children? :sad:

Sorry Hurley.

We eat Children here.

TheGuy, actually there are, I think, four frigates. going back and forth to the Arabian Sea so that we have one or two there at all times. We also have a couple of submarines that we bought from the Briitish. Granted the submarines are dented and so can't go to sea. But they look pretty.

(And, sadly, this too is true.)

You made me eat that 46-year-old fetus yesterday. :sad:

Granted, it was delicious, especially with a mango chitpole, but still...it's the principle of the thing. :sad:

Damn you Canadians :sad:

LOL@Canada's 'navy'.
Even the Swiss navy has more stuff than your's:p;).

AND we paid something like $500 million for each of those dented subs. :sad:

Now let's be serious for a moment. The Swiss are landlocked. They wouldn't even neeeeeeed a navy.

We're trying to discuss a serious situation, as the Canadian armada are charging around the world, from Iraguay to Chadguay and everyplace in-between, wreaking havoc with their Canadian army knives and shiny red velour outfits. Let's try to keep our eyes on the prize, people.

Also true: our armed forces went to the DESERT country of Aghanistan wearing GREEN FOREST camouflage. The Generals here were sure it wouldn't be a problem.

I shouldn't even be laughing lol, Mexico doesn't even have a Navy, or Army, or Airforce lol.

One of Switzerland's borders is in the middle of a lake, but I admit that's a quibble.

Oh, here's a great trivia question. How many ocean coasts does Canada have?

LOL@Canada's armed forces in general, nevermind 'just' the navy.

And, in the 1800s and I think upto WWII, Switzerland DID indeed have a navy. Quite a good one too, for a land-locked, but the ships had to dock at the Italian port of Genoa.

Ahhh, Lake Geneva. Ship capacity: 1. :sad:

I think Canada just boards the Indian Ocean, if I'm not mistaken.

Most Canadians forget to count the Arctic Ocean and say two when it is really three.

Canada borders 3 oceans I think. Pacific and Atlantic and Arctic.

Half of your surface area is surrounded by the Arctic Ocean!

Yes, but most of us squish ourselves near the U.S. border.

And so you just conveniently forget about the rest. How mean. :sad:

Oh, we send an ice breaker up there every thirty years or so to defend our Arctic sovereignty from the Americans. Of course, it goes in the summer time to avoid the ice.....

Of course.

And though it is there to defend our sovereignty from the Americans, the ice breaker kinda manages to avoid any American oil tankers. Because even if we ask really nice, they just might not stop.

You should just fire your cement at us. :sad:

Alright laugh about Canada's navy ALL you want people.

But some of us like to put money into health care, as opposed to developing mass destruction weapons.

On second thought, we are bastards.

You have a navy? :confused:

Why don't you go back to Iraguay, where you belong?

I think that would be considered un-Canadian.

But if the American oil tanker happens to swerve a bit, the government will say, "see, we scared them".

Originally posted by Rebecca
Why don't you go back to Iraguay, where you belong?

I would but it disappeared. :sad:

I miss that country so much. :sad:

And the American oil tanker will just continue happily on its way.

And we'll all sigh a big sigh of relief knowing our sovereignty has been defended for another thirty years.

Oh, I nearly forgot. We are actually taking a tough stand against Portugal. We're refusing to let their boats come into our Atlantic ports and buy supplies.

Originally posted by DeniseM
I think that would be considered un-Canadian.

But if the American oil tanker happens to swerve a bit, the government will say, "see, we scared them".

LMFAO!!!

Rebecca, the worst is that we HAVE put a lot of money into our army and navy. Something like $11 billion a year! (And, sadly, this too is true.)

The following is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation in
October 1995, between a US Navy ship off the coast of England, and
some British authority. The transcript was released by the MoD on 10/10/95.

BRITS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision

BRITS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

BRITS: Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.

AMERICANS: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES'
ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS.
I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES
WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

BRITS: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

You're all just jealous because we got on well with everyone as opposed to some other nations. :cough: :p

Veeyonce - the irony of course, is that a few of those taking the piss are Canadian.

But indeed you are correct.

Not only do we let poor people have health care too, we're even nice.

We rock.

It is now just over a year since the first Canadian frigate went to the Arabian Sea.

Over 1,000 ships have been stopped, boarded, and searched. Four potential terrorists have been detained and turned over to the U.S.

The Canadian frigate currently leading the coalition forces is HMS Montreal.

Actually korben, your transcript is with a Canadian Lighthouse, not British. Or its a funny urban legend that everyone believes.

:eek: Rebecca, the greatly-feared Ontario Place ship (otherwise known as the HMCS Haida) is going to move!!!

They claim it is going to go to Hamilton Harbour! (Who knew it could still move?!!!!)

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Originally posted by Fingon
damn, it must be the ship that was in the Ontario Place :sad:

Yes, I believe that is the most dangerous warship we have! Most of the others are birchbark canoes and armed with beaver pelts!:rolleyes: